My Best Friends
I have four men in my life that I would call my best friends. Let’s call them Wizard, Cowboy, Soldier, and Argonaut.
When I was in grade school, I can remember having a series of “best friends.” I think most young boys have this – at least I hope they do. With each of these companions I would do the typical boy stuff – climb trees, ride bikes, play ball, and blow up ant hills with fire crackers. I’m so thankful for growing up with friends and memories such as these.
But in the middle of my sixth grade year, my family moved and things changed. Throughout middle school and high school, I longed to have a close friend – someone to hang out with, get in trouble with, and share my deepest thoughts with. It never happened.
Oh, I definitely had friends – and good ones! But no one who I felt close to. It didn’t help that I was a fairly quiet kid, and didn’t take risks.
So when I moved to college (from Anchorage, Alaska to Riverside, California!), I went with the idea that I was going to be different. I was going to be the first one to stick out my hand and say, “Hi! I’m Jeremy. What’s your name?” And you know what? This simple decision opened a whole new world to me.
I made so many friendships in college. Admittedly, going to a college that had under 700 students probably helped – everybody knew everybody. But, man, I had fun! From my freshman roommate (whom I had never met prior to moving in), to the people in the singing group I traveled with, I had friends to hang with and maybe even get into a little trouble with.
But I still longed to have that one “best friend.” And nothing against females, but I wanted it to be a guy.
After my junior year of college, I married my high school sweetheart. She is still the love of my life after 26 years, and she is the one who knows me better than anyone else. She is my absolute best friend!
But she’s not a guy.
So I continued to pray that God would send me a male friend – for years. and years.
Little did I know that God would answer that prayer – in His time. But He wouldn’t just send me one. He would send me four!
Soldier is the friend I’ve known the longest. He and I met fifteen years ago. He’s the guy that’s full of ambition, works hard, and plays hard. He’s the one you want to lead the charge. The four years we worked together were some of the best years of my time in music ministry. We worked side by side in the trenches of the church, backing each other up and encouraging each other in the midst of joys and troubles. Since then, we have grown even closer through trips, lunches, and countless calls and texts. As I went through a dark depression, he was the one that patiently heard me bare my soul. He assured me that God was faithful. He stood by me and never left. If in a battle, I would want him by my side. I would die for this man. I care for him as Jonathan in the Bible cared for and loved David. It feels insufficient to sum up our friendship in one paragraph, but I have more friendships to talk about…
Wizard is a friend that I met in the midst of my depression that I mentioned earlier. In fact, he was my counselor. I spent about nine months sitting in his office once a week, sharing hopes, fears, troubles and struggles. When I was finally fixed… Ha! as if that was possible! But times like this must close, so I finished my time of “professional” counseling with him. Then our relationship transformed into a friendship. For years, we met almost every Tuesday morning for breakfast. Now our conversations were more equalized, with him sharing more of his life with me as well. I call him Wizard because he’s been able to make me see the world through different lenses, opening new possibilities – sometimes the process seems almost magical. As Merlin was to Arthur, he’s been a mentor as well as a friend.
Argonaut is my most recent friendship. He always seems to be on an adventure, or on some sort of quest. And he’s the kind of guy you want to join on those quests because of the excitement and the fun! We’ve connected as artists and musicians, and as the quirky personalities that often come with being artists and musicians. But in the midst of his joyous ambition, he also asks those questions that cut right to the heart of things. He wears his heart on his sleeve, which opens the door for you to do the same. He’s one of those guys that you can say anything to, and he’ll get you. Here’s to adventure!
Cowboy is my oldest friend – at 82 years of age, he’s like a second father to me. I’ve told him numerous times that I want to be like him when I “grow up.” He seems to know the secret of life and how to live it – as the old cowboy in the movie City Slickers did. He even still takes care of four horses on his farm, and every once and a while, he and I will go on rides together. One of my favorite memories will always be he and I taking a few horses to the Biltmore House outside Asheville, NC, and riding around the estate in the midst of a rain storm. This man has done so much in his life and enriched so many other people’s lives! He’s been a public school band director, principle, church music minister, landscaper, and health care professional (his clients called him “Dr. Feel Good!”). And the wisdom he has poured into me is priceless. I feel safe in his presence. I know he’s proud of me. I feel cared for, appreciated, and loved. I feel he loves the way God loves us.
I pray that within the church, we can build and foster relationships such as these.
Ladies, you are so loved, but this is for those God has made men…
Men, we need each other. We need to encourage, mentor, and befriend other men. Not just those our same age. We need older men to speak into our lives, to lead us, to mentor us, and to bestow manhood upon us. We also need to befriend those younger than us, helping and encouraging them to be the men God created them to be.
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27:17 (KJV)
Jeremy
