One night recently, Caroline, Graham, and I were eating dinner at home. When Graham finished eating, he looked up at Caroline and said, “Thanks mommy, that was good!” We’ve tried to be intentional lately about insisting he learn a few basic manners like saying please and thank-you, and using ma’am or sir when responding to us, but to be honest we’ve yet to see much success from these intentional moments of teaching him. So, when I heard him say that to Caroline, I looked up from my plate and very curiously asked him where he had learned to say that.
Caroline then told me that I say that every night as we get up from the dinner table, and that he had learned it from me. Honestly, I was a little confused. It had become so routine to me that I didn’t even realize I was saying it, but Graham did. I’ve thought about this moment a lot over the past few days, and it’s been a really good reminder of a couple of things. First, it is absolutely a reminder of God’s grace and goodness. The fact that Graham picked up a desirable habit from me, and that this was a proud parenting moment instead of a parenting fail, is a very gracious gift from God. I know that there will be plenty of times where I’ll try really hard to get him to forget things he’s seen from me, but at least for this moment, I’m reminded of God’s goodness.
The second reminder is that people are always watching and learning from us, even when we’re oblivious to it. So often we think of discipleship as structured, intentional teaching times, but it‘s really an ongoing process that goes far beyond just the structured teaching moments. Yes, discipleship happens for us in our small groups, when we study God’s Word together as a community and learn from gifted preachers and teachers, but it also happens over time as others watch and observe. We’re shaping and influencing people all the time, and often we’re doing it without even realizing it. This is a pretty convicting reminder for me. How many people that I interact with on a regular basis are watching me as a believer, and shaping their idea of what a mature follower of Christ looks like from what they see?
What about for you? Being reminded of this truth has been so helpful for me as I think about the example that I’m setting for others. If my habits and tendencies are so quickly observed and picked up by a 2-year old, then surely others around me can see them too, right?
